You Can't Help Who You Love
by ElectricOutcast
Summary: Some relationships cant be broken, but if you fight for your freedom with a little help love conquers all. ReiShinji dark implication of KarouShinji.


This one here is a lost gem that I recovered last night while cleaning my room. It was something I wrote for my creative writing class which I do not have anymore but I enjoyed the heck out of it because of the events that happened around it. I wrote this one in dedication of my two uncles who were going through a divorce with both of their wives. Right now their lives are having a positive impact right now, their dating again as far as I know. It's a Shinji/Rei fic with implication of a very dark Shinji/Karou (cause to me that pairing is gross like shit). Hope everyone enjoys this. Shinji's POV. The story is set around where I live so don't get mean.

Disclaimer:I don't own NGE or any of the characters. They belong to GAINAX. This song is also owned by Garth Brooks I have no ownership.

You Can't Help Who You Love by vegitoth; Song by Garth Brooks

//It's one am  
And he's still not in  
you wonder when enough's enough  
'Cause this ain't new  
But what do you do  
When you can't help who you love//

I lay on my bed at one a.m waiting for my boyfriend Karou to come in my bed and sleep with me for the night, but instead, I somehow know that he walked out again because he knows that I feel so strained and so in love with him that I can't let him go and he uses it to his advantage. My name is Shinji Ikari a Japanese-American high school student living in south Mississippi, most people know that I've been gay for five years since I started high school. At first I thought I was going to shut myself away from the whole world because of what I am but that same year I found who would be my boyfriend Karou, during the first few years of our relationship, he had been faithful to me as I have been to him but three years ago to this day he'd been sneaking doing stuff that I don't know, but somehow it gets to the people at school leading me to deny it saying that he would never do this to me but I always know that he really is cruel like that.

//So you drive to town  
And you ask around  
Scared of what you're thinking of  
Has he been hurt  
Has be been with her  
'Cause you can't help who you love//

As the weekend comes, I drive around town for a massage appointment for a stress relief procedure. I stop my car in front of a small massage therapy building at a street in Long Beach. As I enter the building, the first thing I noticed is a beautiful albino blue haired girl behind the counter.

"I have an appointment today, I'm Shinji Ikari," I greet to her.

"I know who you are, I've been expecting you, I'm Rei Ayanami, your therapist and your classmate in school," the girl replies in a gentle voice.

"Wait, you're from my school?" I ask in suprise.

"Yes, I have all of your classes and I never forget faces or names."

I was shocked at this, but somehow I knew that I was being watched for quite sometime, but I never imagined it would be this beautiful girl in front of me.

"Are you certified?" I asked.

"No, but I have been learning this from my parents ever since I was a little girl, so just relax you're not going to get hurt by me," Rei replied with the most gentle smile I've ever seen.

I take her word for it and I follow her to a room set up for me, but as I follow her to my room, I began to notice how gracefully she walks with every step. I soon find myself in a candlelit room lying on a soft bed with silky sheets, pillows and blankets; I find the enviroment rather soothing and calm and I'm hypnotised by this setting, not realising that Rei already comes in the room wearing a transparent robe and nothing else. I soon realise that she climbs on my bareback, making me certain that she sees the scars on my back, but at the same time I feel the cooling touch of lotion and the softness of her hands.

"I've heard from the peanut gallery that you've been gay for five years," Rei whispers gently.

"You're right, Rei, I've been gay, but I will tell you right now it's making me miserable," I replied.

"I just can't understand why such a lovely boy like you could be one of those guys," She asks in that same whisper

"My father, Gendo Ikari, forced and raped me into it," I feel my voice getting low "He also arranged a deal with Karou's parents for him to be my boyfriend, those scars are an example of his evil."

"I see, you were forced to be one of them, ruining all of your chances at a happy life. You are miserable, but now you know why I was expecting you, I knew something was wrong, I want to make it right," Rei replied with her lips so close to mine that it feels like she wants to kiss me.

I don't say anything, instead I kiss her passionately while throwing my troubled past in the wind feeling no remorse, no shame, and no regret, boy does it feel great to be a man.

//You hear the voices calling  
As you walk among the fallen and betrayed  
And you know it's gonna break you  
Still you follow where it takes you anyway  
'Cause you ain't got no say  
It's a long ride home  
When you're all alone  
'Cause you can't help who you love//

For the past eight months, I've been hanging around with Rei when Karou wasn't around with Rei when Karou wasn't around, therefore she did somethings that turned me on and opened my heart to things I became instantly comfortable with, I soon realise she is an angel I've always dreamed about when I was a small boy, this angel gave me the comforting hand I've longed for. Over time she changed my attitufe on my life the gay me was disappearing from me forever.

One night, it was raining and I began to set up a candlelit dinner for Rei and me, but what I didn't realise was that Karou wasn't going to leave for his nightclub, because I saw him coming into the dining room and I can tell he was looking at what I setted up in the dining room and he asked this question.

"What's with the setup, Shinji?"

"It's none of your concern, Karou," I reply in a sour tone.

Next thing I know, I'm being grabbed by the neck with his tough "I want an answer, Shinji, or otherwise I will think that you're cheating on me and are hiding him somewhere."

But little does he realise that my new girlfriend struck him with a pellet gun, making him drop to the floor in pain, and I hear her yelling "The man he's cheating against you is me, Rei Ayanami!" (A/N: That's sarcasm if you don't get it)

The look on his face was something to laugh at. He knew who Rei was, she was popular in the school, somehow my affair with her caused quite an uproar around school, leading to all the men and women being jealous of the both of us, I wasn't too worried about them, I was worried about Karou and what harm he could do to either me or Rei. Now as I see him on the floor, the tables have turned.

"I know I've never been gay in the first place, Karou, but you and my father forced it on me, with Rei at my side, she changed me," I yelled at his face "I'm going to tell you this right now by sunrise I want you out of the house and out of my life, when you do, call my dad and tell him that I'm disowning him, hell, you can even fuck him for all we care."

I didn't care what his reply was as I walked with Reu to my car as we went to the nightclub Karou always went to for his fun, now it's my turn.

//You hear the voices calling  
As you walk among the fallen and betrayed  
And you knkow it's gonna break you  
Still you follow where it takes you anyway  
'Cause you ain't got no say  
You should leave  
But I believe  
You can't help who you love

You can't help who you love//

This is for the people who are in a troubled relationship. For those who aint, there are plenty of relationships on this planet that are abusive and you can't break out of it unless something inside you snaps. Now Garth said this himself that you gave him/her your number and you got to fight to get that number back. Now this is from me, it may be very hard to get that number back but once you do get it back it will feel good you can change your ways and I should know because it happened to me and I'm changed person because of it. I hope my comments helped most of you out of that trouble. I'm just trying to help out so see ya.


End file.
